yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
