i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
