If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I wear drunk well.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
