so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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