Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
