There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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