I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
