**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
