Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize