3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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