Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
