right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize