WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
