He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
