apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
