i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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