I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
