just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
