The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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