Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
