god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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