She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
