guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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