I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
