you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
