Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
