Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
