So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
