there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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