so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just googled if crying burns calories
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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