We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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