theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
