sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
