so that wasnt chicken after all
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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