Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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