I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I looked at my own cervix.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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