Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
