u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
God, I missed his penis.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize