Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
