I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
