Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
