well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
