i just wanna soil my oats bro
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
