He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
