I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
