Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
