it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
