I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
