Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
