he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize