I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
