I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
