Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the liver wants what the liver wants
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
