ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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