I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
