I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
