Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
