He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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