and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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