No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
