it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize