i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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