Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
