Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone owes me an orgasm
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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