Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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