Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
