i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
